


A Good Weird

by captainimprobable



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cuddling, F/F, Fluff, I hope these two get a happy ending, Rain, Thunderstorms, just fluff, lapidot - Freeform, literally the most innocent stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 19:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13934247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainimprobable/pseuds/captainimprobable
Summary: “You don’t even know what a dog is, do you?”“Shut up, Lazuli, I’m trying to help you.”~~~Peridot tries to help Lapis through her first thunderstorm.





	A Good Weird

**Author's Note:**

> First thing I write in two years, and it's about Lesbian Aliens.
> 
> Figures.

“Percy, I just…I can’t do this anymore.”

The barn was deadly still. Apart from the conversation happening on screen, the only sounds that could be heard were the distant calls of birds in the trees outside and the combined breathing of the two gems watching in rapt attention.

“I know we’ve spent a lot of time together this summer. I know we’ve gotten pretty close. But…”

Peridot, eyes glued to the television set, began excitedly tapping Lapis’s arm. Lapis absently waved her away, mouth open in awe, eyes never leaving the screen.

They’d been waiting for this moment for months. All those hours speculating, all those charts and graphs, countless hours spent theorizing and wondering. It had all come down to this. 

The unaired Camp Pining Hearts TV movie that Steven had found somewhere in the bowels of the Internet. 

The two gems held their breath.

“I’ve decided. I’m leaving the Blue Team.”

The rest of Paulette’s words were drowned out by Peridot’s excited scream, punctuated by her fist punching the air in triumph. 

Lapis rolled her eyes, but the effect was softened when she offered Peridot a faint smile. 

“I told you, Lapis! I TOLD YOU she’d do it! Strategically speaking, Paulette leaving the Blue Team is the only thing that would assure their victory. Though I am impressed with her willingness to sacrifice herself for the good of the team. I may have to reevaluate my previous analysis of her character arc.”

Peridot paused when she realized Lapis was shaking her head. 

“What?”

“I’m not buying it.”

“Not buying…what exactly?”

Lapis steepled her fingers together, resting her chin on her conjoined hands. She leaned in toward Peridot conspiratorially.

“There’s no way Paulette decided this on her own.” 

Peridot gasped.

“What are you insinuating?”

“I think someone put her up to it. Remember her whole ‘Forever and Always’ monologue in season 3? She’s not selfless enough to give up her Color War standing just like that.”

Peridot considered this, head cocked at an angle. “That would mean…she was blackmailed?” 

Lapis nodded sagely. “It makes the most sense.”

Peridot’s eyes widened. “Lazuli, you’re a genius!” She tripped over herself in her scramble to jump down from the truck bed.

Lapis laughed. “Where are you going?” Peridot was already out of the room when she responded with a yelled “To restructure my charts!”  
~~  
Peridot was still scribbling furiously ten minutes later when Lapis burst into the room, a wild look in her eyes. She didn’t even look up as Lapis scanned the barn.

“Good, you’re here!” Peridot exclaimed, not noticing her roommate’s obviously distressed state. She kept talking as Lapis searched the room, completely ignorant of everything going on around her. She didn’t even notice when Lapis started to throw things.

“I discovered that your version of events makes the most sense if you try to-“ A toilet seat flew through the air, coming so close that it ruffled Peridot’s hair. She blinked, just seeming to realize that bathroom appliances do not frequently fly on their own. 

“…What are you doing??” she trailed off, as Lapis continued on what looked like a mission to destroy the barn.

In response, an engine came flying at Peridot’s face. She managed to avoid it by panicking at the last minute, throwing her hands in the air in defense, and accidentally using her metal powers to stop the errant piece of debris.

Peridot squinted her eyes open, wondering why her face was still in one piece. She was greeted with an engine floating steadily in front of her. “Lazuli, look what I did-“ she paused, considering the engine. “-totally on purpose! Am I amazing or what?” She dropped her hands to put them on her hips to stand in a more heroic pose. The engine, unimpressed, fell to the floor with a loud BANG.

When Lapis didn’t respond, Peridot finally remembered that she was in a Roommate Situation. Tired of being ignored, she cupped her hands around her mouth and screamed. “LAZULI, WHAT IN HOMEWORLD ARE YOU DOING???” Wondering if that might have been a little too confrontational, she added “AND CAN I HELP?”

Lapis jumped, as if she’d forgotten Peridot was there. She stopped throwing things, but her eyes continued to dart around, flicking from Peridot’s face, to the floor, to the rain lashing against the little window near the roof of the barn ceiling, never settling on one thing for more than a few seconds. With nothing left to throw, she wrung her hands together nervously. Her wings emerged from her back in preparation to fly, but with nowhere to go they just hung limply, flanking her like two fading, dejected ghosts.

“Someone’s attacking us,” She finally announced. “We’ve got to pack up our stuff and get out of here”

Peridot, instantly on the alert, squatted as if to make herself a smaller target and scanned the barn. “Who is it? Is it Homeworld?” She paused, eyes widening. “Of course it’s Homeworld! Oh man I knew this would happen someday, they’re finally coming to get me- Wait,” she glanced at Lapis, finally taking in the fact that they were still alone in the barn. “Where are they?”

“You don’t hear that?!” Lapis’s voice rose, almost becoming a shriek. They both paused to listen, but all Peridot could hear was the storm outside. Then it dawned on her.

“Oh!” Peridot smacked her palm with her fist. “You mean the rain?” She reached out for Lapis’s shoulder, but pulled back quickly when Lapis flinched. “That’s okay,” she said, putting her hands up in front of her, the way one might approach a terrified animal. “I was afraid of the rain, too, but Steven taught me-“

“Not the rain,” Lapis interrupted, teeth chattering. “The…the searchlights. The rumbling of a spaceship getting closer. We just…we need to leave NOW.” Lapis’s wings began to move, preparing her for flight. This time Peridot grabbed her shoulder, stopping her from flying away. ‘Wait,” she said, using the calmest voice she could muster. “Please, Lapis, just wait.”

Lapis’s eyes looked stormy, mirroring the weather outside. Peridot internally congratulated herself for that truly poetic metaphor, keeping her eyes on Lapis’s face. Finally, Lapis retracted her wings. Another booming sound, and she shrank down against the wall, protectively covering her head with her arms. 

“So why are we risking our lives by staying here?” Lapis’s voice came out muffled. Peridot gingerly sat down too, making sure to leave a good foot between her and Lapis.

“Because it’s all normal. The lights, the sounds. It’s not a spaceship, it’s just this…thing that happens on this world. Another weird Earth thing, like seasons, or bathrooms.” Peridot rested her head against the wall, watching the rain streaking down the window. “But it’s…” She paused, a small smile on her face. “Well, it’s a good weird.”

Lapis poked her head out of her arm cocoon and considered Peridot. Then, in a very small voice, she muttered “What do they do in those bathrooms anyway?”

Peridot nodded sagely, then confidently replied “I have absolutely no idea.”

Another rumble shook the barn, and Lapis retreated back to her safe position. 

“I just…” Lapis faltered. “I don’t like when there’s a threat I can’t even see. It makes me feel…out of control.” 

Peridot let out a breath. “It’s okay if you’re scared, yknow.” When Lapis didn’t answer, she continued. “I was scared basically all the time when I first got stuck here.”

Quiet settled over the barn, punctuated only by the heavy drops of rain falling onto the roof. 

Finally, Lapis said in a quivering voice: “There’s nothing to fight. And that freaks me out.” 

As if determined to prove her point, thunder chose that moment to shake the barn.

Lapis bit her lip so hard she nearly broke the skin.

“OH!” Peridot snapped her fingers, hit by a sudden thought. 

“I’ve come to realize that, while Homeworld is obviously advanced far beyond earth technology, they still underestimate the tech humans do have.” She pulled out her tablet, holding it close enough to her face that the glow of the screen reflected off her gem. “The last time anyone studied the earth was thousands of years ago, and they haven’t updated any of their information since. I’ve taken it upon myself to do that.” She looked around, as though expecting applause. When she didn’t get it, she turned back to her tablet, a little crestfallen.

“Anyway, there’s this database humans use that I’ve found pretty useful in the past.” She typed “HELP SCARED OF THUNDER” confidently into the search bar, a shaking Lapis looking over her shoulder. 

“Usually your best bet is to click on the first response,” Peridot said knowingly, subsequently clicking on “Did you mean: Help my dog is scared of thunder?”

“You don’t even know what a dog is, do you?”

“Shut up, Lazuli, I’m trying to help you.”

Peridot cleared her throat. “Okay. According to a human named “Web MD”, step one is to “Make the room you’re in a Safe, Welcome Space.”

The two gems surveyed the room, taking in the fixtures of their daily life: Five toilets, check. Half a truck sticking out of the wall, check. Cans hanging from the ceiling in no discernable order? Got em. 

Lapis shrugged. “I guess that’s…good enough?”

Peridot nodded, looking toward the pile of broken televisions all replaying the same somber line. 

“Seems incredibly safe and welcoming to me!”

She peered at Lapis. “Are you…feeling better yet?”

Lapis raised an eyebrow, a peek of her usual attitude peeping through the fear. “Um. No.”

Peridot huffed. “Fine. Part 2.” She scrolled down. “Consider a snug garment, like a blanket or sweatshirt.”

Lapis rolled her eyes, managing to look derisive even as her teeth chattered. “I don’t think this is actually helpful.”

Peridot pursed her lips. “Are you or are you not shivering?”

Lapis, shaking so hard her eyes were rattling, immediately answered with an uncertain “I’m….not?” 

Peridot didn’t even say anything. She just stared. Finally, Lapis sighed. “Fine,” she conceded.

Peridot smiled, happy to be right as usual. She chattered on as she procured the blanket that usually adorned their truck bed and brought it back to Lapis’s prone form.

“Apparently this is supposed to “make you feel safe and warm”, she announced, settling the blanket around Lapis’s shoulders with much more gentleness than she usually practiced. 

A few seconds passed, during which they both realized that Peridot’s hands were still on Lapis’s shoulders. Peridot immediately jumped backwards as though her palms had been scalded. “Sorry,” she muttered, shiftily continuing to watch Lapis from her new position three feet away.

“Uh. Yeah.”

A comfortable silence reigned for a few minutes. And then- 

“Is it working yet?”

“No.”

“Ah. Alright.”

Three and a half more seconds passed.

“Now?”

A still shivering Lapis glared at Peridot, but her expression softened when she realized how earnest the other gem was.

“Maybe it’s working…a little?”

Peridot’s face broke out in a smile, and Lapis could swear she felt a little warmer.

Regardless, another shiver inadvertently escaped her. 

Peridot gave a frustrated groan.

“I don’t understand! My research was flawless! What kind of idiot is Web M.D???”

“Are you sure you followed it exactly?” Lapis asked, now unwittingly invested in the plan’s success, regardless of whether it affected her or not.

“Yes!” Peridot said, furiously scrolling through the website once again. “There must be a different approach, or maybe a- oh wait!”

“I didn’t realize there was a part three! Okay, this part is called ‘Cuddle With Your Pet.’”

Lapis leaned in, trying to read over Peridot’s shoulder as she continued to read aloud.

‘To further comfort your dog, it is suggested that you initiate human contact with him. Touch will reassure your pet that they are not alone, and the extra warmth will calm him down.’ Excellent,” Peridot exclaimed, “We’ll just do that!”

“Uh, okay.” Lapis furrowed her eyebrows. “Do you know what cuddle means?”

“No idea. But it shouldn’t be too hard to-“ A green blush appeared on Peridot’s face, and she quickly turned the brightness of her tablet down.

“Oh. Um. Well.” Peridot coughed, looking at everything but Lapis.

“What’s wrong?” Lapis squinted, inching closer to get a better look at the screen. Peridot stood up very suddenly.

“Oh, there was just…a picture explaining,” she said, in a clear attempt to appear offhand. It was not successful.

“Okay, what’s the picture of?”

Peridot’s blush deepened. “Nothing! It’s not- it won’t- nothing!”

Lapis laughed, unable to imagine what could make Peridot look this flustered. “Okay,” she said. “Now you have to show me.”

Peridot coughed and looked up, as though willing Lapis’s imagined alien spaceship to abduct her and take her anywhere but there. Finally, she wordlessly turned the brightness back up. The horrifying picture of a dog and its owner snuggling under a blanket leaped back onto the screen.

Lapis went quiet. “Oh.”

“Haha yeah,” Peridot said awkwardly. “That’s. Obviously not something we’re going to do. Gems-“ Peridot clapped her hands together. “Well. Gems just…we don’t do things like-“

Lapis remained silent, appearing very interested in a spot of the barn floor.

“Well. Contact..I mean..casual touch is just…not something we-“ She nodded decisively. “Anyway! We’ll do something else!”

“Let’s try it.”

“And besides, it probably wouldn’t work anyway, our bodies aren’t that warm in the first place…“

Lapis coughed, and said it a little louder.

“Let’s try it.” 

“-completely miniscule idea that- What?” 

Peridot paused her monologue, noting that Lapis seemed to look a shade blue deeper than usual. But she chalked that up to her imagination. 

She felt her heart beat faster as Lapis lifted the blanket off her left shoulder, definitively not looking at Peridot, but still providing a clear invitation. 

“Are you sure? Maybe we could do something else, we-“ Peridot’s words stumbled to a halt as Lapis rolled her eyes again.

“Peridot…shut up.” 

Peridot gulped, looking torn. “O…okay.”

She made her way to the wall at a snail’s pace. Checking to make sure Lapis was still okay with it, she gingerly sat down next to her. When Lapis threw the corner of the blanket over Peridot’s back, her hand momentarily brushed Peridot’s shoulder. 

Peridot gulped.

For a few moments, silence reigned, and Peridot realized she was suddenly hyper aware of everything. The way the each lightning strike lit up different parts of Lapis’s face, turning each plane a different shade of brilliant blue. How Lapis’s thin arm felt against hers. 

After a few tense minutes, during which Peridot refused to relax, Lapis let out an unexpected giggle. 

Peridot jumped. “What?” she asked, talking loudly in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. 

Lapis leaned her head against the wall, closing her eyes. “This is just so….”

Surprising?

Terrifying?

…Nice?

“Weird,” Lapis finished decidedly.

Peridot’s face screamed emerald as she hastened to untangle herself from the blanket. Embarrassment didn’t even cut it. “Well I’m sorry this was such a disappointment to you, maybe next time I’ll just leave you alone, excuse me while I go STICK MY FACE IN THOSE TOILET BOWLS OVER THERE, that should really do-

“Wait,” Lapis grabbed Peridot’s hand, definitely blushing now. 

“It’s…it’s a good weird.”

For once, Peridot was speechless.

Lapis looked up, eyes finally settling on Peridot’s face. “You can come back, if you want.” 

Peridot gave a small nod, and let Lapis slowly guide her back down the wall. Lapis grinned in spite of herself. 

“Hey Peridot?”

“Yeah?” 

Still holding her hand, Lapis rested her head on Peridot’s shoulder.

“I hope it rains again.”


End file.
